This incident occurred during my last year at Chanco, Senior High Conference in 1992. We were a pretty boisterous group that year, and maybe nothing proves that more than what happened one day about halfway through the session, when we were served a barbecue lunch. Being the helpful people that they were, the dining hall staff placed bottles of Texas Pete on every lunch table. Most people probably know exactly what that stuff is, but in case anyone reading this doesn't know, it's a hot and spicy barbecue sauce, like ordinary barbecue sauce combined with tabasco sauce. Anyway, having bottles of Texas Pete at the table seems like the sort of thing that no one would think twice about. I'm sure the dining hall staff didn't think twice about it. But what they didn't bargain for was just how nutty a bunch of teenage kids will get when away at camp for a week.

I don't know who did it first--it wasn't anyone at my table--but someone picked up a bottle of Texas Pete and took a long gulp from it. I don't know if they were responding to a dare, or whether it was just random tomfoolery, but it got the attention of everyone at the surrounding tables. And when someone else picked up that Texas Pete bottle and took an even longer gulp from it, the resulting chaos caught the attention of everyone in the dining hall. The room was divided between people who were freaking out at what a terrible idea it was to chug Texas Pete and people who were eagerly clamoring to be next. Soon, the gulping evolved into draining an entire bottle of Texas Pete at one shot, swallowing frantically as all the campers in the surrounding area chanted, "Go! Go! Go!" and pounded on their tables.

Apparently, watching all of these people do this ridiculous thing gave Boomer an idea, because right in the middle of the whole thing, he suddenly emerged from the direction of the kitchen, carrying a huge tub of red liquid. He was trailed by several other counselors who informed us in hushed tones that this was a huge tub full of nothing but Texas Pete. I don't think anyone was fooled, and while I don't know for sure what was in the tub, the theory around the dining hall was that it was Kool-Aid. Looking back, I now think it was probably something with even less substance than Kool-Aid; water with red food coloring mixed in, most likely. There was seriously at least a gallon of the stuff, whatever it was. Climbing onto the stage at the front of the dining hall, Boomer had everyone's attention. He raised that tub to his mouth and began gulping its contents down frantically. He kept up with it at first, but soon it was spilling into his face, down his chin, onto his chest, and eventually onto the floor. By the time the tub was empty, Boomer's white t-shirt was stained red and stuck to his chest, the floor and stage were liberally spattered with whatever the stuff in the tub had been, and Boomer had consumed maybe 60 or 70 percent of what had been in the tub when he'd started out. He tossed the tub down with a flourish, to scattered applause and catcalls.

By the end of that fateful barbecue lunch, there wasn't a drop of Texas Pete left in the dining hall. I'm not sure how long the dining hall staff had expected those bottles to last, but I can't imagine they'd expected them to be drained as quickly as they were. I sure hope we didn't cost Camp Chanco hundreds of dollars in unforeseen barbecue sauce replacement bills, but I wouldn't be surprised if we did.

That seems like it should be the end of the story, but it's not. Later that evening, my friend Jessee and I were walking to dinner and ran into our friend Chris, who had been heavily involved in the Texas Pete hijinks. He had a pained look on his face, and was walking a little bit funny. I made a comment as soon as we saw him about Texas Pete, and he started shaking his head. "That was the stupidest idea ever," he said. "I've been running to the bathroom all afternoon. And it BURNS!" Jessee and I cracked up. Apparently, this same complaint was to be heard all over camp that afternoon, and a lot of people didn't really start feeling OK again until lunch the next day.

The incident was immortalized at the end of the session by Ron Bonheur, who included a verse about it in his "Chanco Blues" song. Apparently, the composition of a "Chanco Blues", detailing the funniest incidents of the session, was a yearly tradition at Senior High conference, but as 1992 was the only one I attended, I really can't be sure of that. You can find lyrics to the entire song in the 1992 Smoke Signal, preserved in .pdf form elsewhere on the site, but here's the verse in question:

"At barbecue lunch, some folks drank Texas Pete.
By afternoon, bathrooms were smokin', and boy, they sure did reek..."